Writing this article has been a top priority for me this week, next to the whole lot of nothing that I’ve been meaning to get to. However, I’ve shuffled some things around, and I found the time to do this. How else would you know what movies you need to see this summer? Other more nationally known movie sites? To you I say nay.
So, here’s some movies that have piqued my interest whether it’s “Ohmygodineeditnow!” or “Could be okay.” If it’s not here, it might as well not even be coming out. I have spoken.
Iron Man 2 (May 7, 2010)
Iron Man came out in a year when $585 million worldwide box office would only earn it second place for a superhero movie. However, Robert Downey Jr. busted back onto the scene with the film, and my man-crush has been going strong ever since. He’s back for the sequel, along with a pretty amazing cast – Gwyneth Paltrow, Samuel L. Jackson, Mickey Rourke, Scarlett Johannson, Don Cheadle, and Sam Rockwell.
I can’t imagine that much would change in the formula – witty banter between characters followed by metal suits blowing shit up, and it looks like there’s going to be a lot more of that. Though instead of 1 small suit fighting 1 big suit, there’s going to be 2 small suits fighting 20 small suits and Mickey Rourke’s electric whip. Best band name ever: Mickey Rourke’s Electric Whip.
MacGruber (May 21, 2010)
MACGRUBER! He makes life saving inventions out of household materials! MACGRUBER! This skit at its best is completely absurd, and I love it. I guess the question is if a 3-minute sketch can get expanded to a 90-minute feature, especially based on previous SNL skit-turned-shit like It’s Pat and Coneheads. I’m optimistic though – co-starring is Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer (who regained definitely his cool in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang).
Get Him to the Greek (June 5, 2010)
I love me some Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Someone else must agree, because this film uses characters from that movie in an all new burst of hilarity. Jonah Hill plays the awkward yet endearing chubby guy and Russell Brand plays the flamboyant British rockstar. Drunk jokes! Drug jokes! Ass jokes! I’m there.
Toy Story 3 (June 18, 2010)
I love Toy Story so much that I, being a grown up, went to see the Toy Story/Toy Story 2 double feature in 3D when it was re-released last year. Even if this movie is one too many, I’m still glad there’s another one to go experience. I was 10 when the last one was released, and Pixar is going to have to appeal to the first generation of Pixar fans in addition to the new, Cars-lunchbox-using generation.
Predators (July 9, 2010)
This probably belongs in the ‘meh’ section, but I’m just excited for Robert Rodriguez’s take on the franchise. Plus Laurence Fishburne is in it. [Insert red pill/blue pill joke here].
Inception (July 16, 2010)
I will see this movie three times in the theater. How do I know? Because there is nothing about this that doesn’t appeal to me. Chris Nolan, coming off the modest success that was The Dark Knight, got to make the movie he wanted and with as much money as he needed. This is the result. Leo Dicaprio and a pretty amazing supporting cast star in a movie that I don’t really know anything about – and I’m going to keep it that way. Trust me, don’t watch any new trailers that marketing thinks are necessary and don’t read interviews. Just walk in blind, and enjoy the ride. I know I will.
I Love You Phillip Morris (July 30, 2010)
This movie has had a lot of trouble finding its release date, but it’s here. Jim Carrey falls in love with Ewan McGregor in prison. I’m sure it will be unsettling for a lot of people to see their standby funny-man kissing Obi-wan Kenobi, but I guess the only question is how could this not be great?
The Other Guys (August 6, 2010)
Will Ferrell! Mark Wahlberg! Sam Jackson! The Rock! Michael Keaton? Yes! Adam McKay and Ferrell haven’t taken on the buddy comedy yet, but it looks like they will take it down hard with this film. I laughed about 17 times during the trailer. Now they just need to make Anchorman 2.
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (August 13, 2010)
Michael Cera again plays Michael Cera, the awkward, skinny, shy young man who goes through a personal struggle in order to impress a girl. Fine. I’ll ignore that part, and instead pay attention to Edgar Wright, director of the amazing Shaun of the Dead in charge of a hyper-hyper-stylized comic book movie where Mr. Cera has to defeat the girl’s ex-boyfriend who include Superman Brandon Routh, Captain America (and Human Torch) Chris Evans, and.. well, he was never a superhero but still a good actor, Jason Schwartzman.
And then there’s movies that have interesting trailers (in the title links), though they leave me skeptical:
Prince of Persia (May 28, 2010): Jake Gyllenhaal playing an Iranian, with a British accent. Cool action, ripped Jake. It’ll make a lot of money.
Splice (June 5, 2010): A scientist couple makes some sort of human/animal/alien/something hybrid. This has been coming for awhile, so who knows.
The A-Team (June 11, 2010): Like the TV show. Except with tanks skydiving out of airplanes. I think this will be alright. Not amazing, but a fun brainless summer movie.
Salt (July 23, 2010): Angelina Jolie is told she’s a Russian spy, but she hasn’t been triggered yet. Seems like a cross between Minority Report and The Manchurian Candidate, which is great because those were two of my favorite movies of the last decade.
The Expendables (August 13, 2010) – Special note: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, AND Sylvester Stallone on screen at the same time. On top of Jet Li, Jason Statham, and every wrestler/actor alive? Even if this movie sucks, at least you’ll get your year’s worth of testosterone in one bite-sized tablet. And yes, this gets its own Youtube embed:
The M. Night Shyamalan Consolation Prize:
The Last Airbender (July 2, 2010) – He made the worst movie of 2008. So, of course, the suits gave him MORE money to make an action/fantasy movie. All is well in Hollywood.
Inexplicably making huge amounts of money based only on glittery cheeks, toned abs, crappy CGI, and PG-13 sexual tension:
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (June 30, 2010) – Nothing to say here. I just know that people would be upset if I didn’t include this, and I’m a generous guy. And no, I’m not attaching the trailer.
Have fun watching movies this summer.. whether I’m in Michigan, Barcelona, or Houston, I’ll be watching too and updating you with only the wittiest of movie critiques.
