Yes, I’m Still Alive and Reviewing: Paranormal Activity

Five months. Nearly half a year since I’ve updated my blog.  I’m disappointed in myself, only because I see the one or two hits I get every other day and I realize that I’m letting them down. The loyal fan(s)! I love you, fan(s).  This is for you (all).

I’ve seen a ton of movies across that span, and I want to write reviews for all of them.  Most recently I watched Up (Pixar continues to simply make amazing movies), Public Enemies, Where the Wild Things Are, Zombieland, and something you’ve probably never heard of: Antichrist starring Willem Dafoe (he’ll get you, Spider-man!). I may still write a review for Antichrist, but I don’t know if what I can say hasn’t been said already by the paid ‘professionals’.

I included the trailer just so you can get a feel for what I saw as far as the whole movie.  Except not at all. It’s said to be a horror film, I guess because that’s the closest to any genre the film touches. However, I never felt fear while watching.  Just sick to my stomach – while it is beautifully shot, it’s also incredibly surreal, painfully violent, sexually explicit (read: pornographic), and painfully violently sexually explicit.  I wondered at points if I wanted to keep watching.  But that’s for the full review, if I end up writing one.

However, I won’t include the trailer for the main film this review is about: Paranormal Activity. Why? Because it gives everything away.  This is a movie that should be seen with as little prior knowledge as possible.  That, and a two minute trailer could potentially include everything of value with regards to something actually happening on screen.

That’s not to say that it’s not an enjoyable film.  Shot for a matter of a few thousand dollars (while probably bringing in close to $100 million by the time its run ends), this is a scary movie, but different from any horror film of this decade.  There’s no gore, no demonic faces or complicated makeup, and for the most part no sudden noises that I consider to be a cheap, exploitative thrill that leaves me feeling angry and stupid for jumping.

Paranormal Activity’s strength (and really, its only strength) is the sense of foreboding that settles in every time the couples turns out the lights and the camera watches them sleep as the clock in the corner of the screen ticks by at various speeds.  The clock will speed up as we fast-forward through uneventful parts of the night, but when it begins playing at normal speed at 3:30 AM, myself and everyone else in the theater visibly tensed for whatever was going to happen.  To me, being scared without having any reason to other than expecting something to happen is the true mark of a horror film’s success.  You’ll want to see this film on a weekend night when you know the theater will be full, because there’s always that one girl that can scream really loudly.

Some people (those with ADD) will say that the film isn’t scary, or that it was boring.  They’re wrong.  This film may be overhyped, but by the time the film goes to black (there are no credits), you will at least be unsettled.  At most (if a strong wind frightens you), you’ll be shaking, crying, and glad you wore your Depends. Anyone else (those with ADD) can go watch Saw VIIIVIVI or FeardotCom.

I probably shouldn’t even bother with any kind of serious critical analysis other than ‘Yea, I felt scared. Go see it.’  However, I’ll just say that the writing and acting is pretty groan-inducing.  During the day time, we get amateur actors playing unlikable characters that are saying lame and unrealistic things in a thin story put in place only to break up the scares.

Frat boy and shrill girlfriend deserve it. Worst couple ever.

The ending upset me a little because it did exactly what I don’t like horror to do, but it was a thrilling climax of the dread that the film continually builds. There’s an alternate ending that doesn’t end on such a heart pumping note, but it does feel more in line with the film’s overall tone of not knowing if something else is going to happen.  The ending attached to the theatrical release is the Hollywood ending, but it’s probably for the best.

My advice is to just laugh along with the wooden dialogue and bad acting – those are the times that you and everyone else in the theater will get to loosen your grips on the armrest.

(out of 5)

Star Trek Review, the Better Late Than Never Edition

Well.  Being at work for 10 hours a day and taking seven credits doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, but I was surprised to find out that days only have so many hours and coffee eventually stops working.  However, I promised I’d get around to writing this, so I’ve taken a break from writing about the Tonkin Gulf Resolution to write about another convoluted conflict involving guys with funny accents – JJ Abrams’s Star Trek.

Let’s just get this out of the way – I’ve never liked the franchise.  Too cheesy, too nerdy, too boring (disregarding the badass combo that is Patrick Stewart and LeVar Burton).  But, being a fan of Mission Impossible III, Cloverfield, and LOST (that finale! Dayum!), I decided to give JJ a shot.  For the most part, he succeeded.

Oh Leonard Nimoy, I, Winona Ryder understand what it means to have your career be in the toilet and being forced to do cameo roles

I decided that I didn’t want to take my Trek alone, and cleared out my social calendar and brought K along for the ride.  Props to her for being such a trooper in the wake of numerous immunizations she apparently slipped under the radar without, spending years at college infecting people.  But, because she got shots for tetanus and other diseases that I thought had long been eradicated by modern medicine including polio, the black plague, dog flu, and rubella, I felt safe enough to let her come along.

The movie? Right.  Again, this is my best attempt at explaining.  Don’t hate me, hate the writers.  In the year 23-something, newborn James Kirk’s dad sacrifices himself and saves a bunch of people on a Federation spaceship from Eric Bana’s perfectly American accented villian Nero, who is looking for Spock, but in the wrong time.  So we flash forward to the year 23-something-later where Kirk as a kid for some reason jumps a 1955 Corvette into the Grand Canyon while Beastie Boys’ Sabotage is playing and he’s getting chased by a hovering motorcycle cop.  Pointless?  As far as I can tell.  Awesome?  You bet.

We then go forward again to 23-something-even-later and Kirk (Chris Pine) is a civilian teenager living in a military town who spends his time getting into barfights with the cadets.  He’s told he’s “meant for something better,” and decides to join up.  Of course, he’s the loner who breaks all the rules, and gets in trouble with Academy leader Tyler Perry (yea..) after cheating on a test that teen Spock (Zachary Quinto) made to be unbeatable.  He’s about to go to jail, or something, when Nero decides to come out of hiding and attack Federation ships.

And Spock.  We get all the stops pulled out here.  There’s young Spock having trouble being both a human and a Spock-species (Vulcan?).  We get teenage Spock, also suffering the same problems but dating/ignoring/whining to the sexy black chick, so everything really is okay.  And then we get old Spock.. umm.  What?  I actually don’t remember how old Spock is in their time, but I think he was exiled to Hoth with Cloverfield monsters because he decided to let Nero’s planet be destroyed in the future, which is why Nero is looking for Spock in the first place. Ohhh.. Huh?

But moving on.  Like I said, the story is convoluted and would definitely take a few viewings to completely digest.  But other than that, it was surprisingly funny and light-hearted, even though I’m pretty sure only the Trekkies were laughing at some of the jokes while K and I laughed at the laughing.

The cast was acceptable, but not as great as I would’ve thought.  Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead) and Harold from the White Castle movie were okay at best.  Karl Urban played the doctor, and I think you’ll be hearing more about him as he gave a great performance.  Charlie Bartlett, aka Anton Yelchin played Chekov.  Side note – believe it or not, a guy named Anton Yelchin was born in Russia.  His perfect English just fooled me, but thank God for IMDB and facebook link sharing.  Pine and Quinto did what they needed to while being grumpy towards each other and then gradually coming to an understanding, but I wasn’t blown away.

The effects were indeed great.  Ever secretly wonder what it looks like for a planet to get sucked into a black hole?  I know you did, and Trek has got you covered.

All in all, this didn’t feel like the various parts of other Trek movies I’ve seen.  Fast pacing, snappy lines (you could forget that it isn’t 2009 with the contemporary speech, music, and wardrobe though) and nice visuals are pretty smoothly wrapped up, albeit in a fairly confusing package.  That doesn’t take away from the experience though.  When all else fails, laugh at the Trekkies.

Well.  I’ve gotta say, this review rolled out pretty quickly.  What can I say though, charmingly picking apart science fiction movies just comes naturally to me.  And for all my loyal fans reading this, I guessss I could be a nice guy and meet you at the Pita Place in Muskegon where we can discuss this gold that comes out of my keyboard, and more interesting things like where the best swingset in town is.

(out of 4)

Adventureland Advance Review!

Yesterday I got to see an advanced screening of the new film Adventureland in the Natural Science Auditorium at the University of Michigan.  As an aside/shout out, I was lucky enough to see C there.  You’re welcome.  But after waiting in line for an hour in the building’s dungeon/basement, my surprising and enjoyable trip to the film’s amusement park began.

You know, I'm also surprised that this is way better than the trailer looks!

Director Greg Mottola returns after his 2007 hit Superbad to bring us Adventureland, aka Superbad 2, starring Michael Cera’s curly haired twin Jesse Eisenberg as James.  It also stars that girl (Kristen Stewart) from that vampire movie which will not be named, as well as Apatow-type comedy standards like Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, and Martin Starr.  Also starring is Ryan Reynolds in an interesting role that I don’t remember ever having exactly seen in a movie before.

That said, the film’s story makes it worth seeing.  The trailers definitely undersell what this film is, and my advice is to not expect the film you see in the trailer.  Set in 1987, this isn’t a cliched coming of age teenage romantic comedy.  Halfway through during an intermission, film reels were switched and I remember telling my friend that I honestly didn’t know how the film would end.  While I call this film Superbad 2 only because of the Michael Cera soundalike as its leading man, this is a more heartfelt film.  It’s emotional depth easily reaches beyond the final 15 minutes of Superbad.

This film is different because all of the characters are older than teenage comedies normally allow.  James just graduated from college and is a virgin (as he said regarding virginity – “Really? In this day and age?”).  The other characters are home from college for the summer.  This allows the characters to engage in ‘real-life’ interactions with their parents.  The best part of their older age is that the film doesn’t make the viewer feel that these ‘grown-ups’ hold all the responsibility that they should as they smoke pot and drink every day during work at the park.  Why do they all continute to return to work at the park every summer and delay moving on to their futures?

Everyone works at the park because they need money to continue delaying the inevitable.  In a time of economic turmoil, viewers can relate to this film and its incredible relevance. James wants to go to graduate school (to avoid the real world?), but has no way to afford it as his father was demoted.  Sexy disco dancer/unattainable girl Lisa P. (played by Margarita Levieva) works because her dad was injured on the job.  These characters are us.  They struggle just like anyone else.  It’s refreshing to see characters in a Superbad-like movie who don’t have unlimited funds from Mommy and Daddy.

The relationships in the film kept me engaged and was really the catalyst for making me want to continue watching.  Who would end up with who?  Would anyone end up with anyone?  Ultimately, we’re left wondering what will happen once the film ends.  Nothing is for sure, but we know that character arcs have come full circle and that the uncertain conclusion is the most satisfying.

I have to mention Ryan Reynolds’ character, the older rock and roller mentor for James.  His character takes a darker, sadder turn than I would’ve ever expected in a film like this.  I think it took a lot of courage to include it, and I applaud the writers and director for including his part in the story.

I should probably also mention that, believe it or not, this is a comedy.  The laughs come hard and often, but ultimately when you walk out of the theater this film won’t be forced out of your mind like any other brainless comedies.  I’ve written about what affected me the most, and the themes, characters, and writing are what I’ll remember most.

The film is also beautifully shot.  Set during all times of the day, the carnival’s bright lights jump off the screen during the nighttime, and the hazy gray of a Pennsylvania summer dawn absorbs you.

The music is also a character in itself.  One gag involves the carnival workers’ hatred for the constantly playing ‘Rock Me Amadeus’ by Falco.  The film was also interesting as a musical period piece.  The 80s were a time of musical transition, and no one remembers that there were still ‘discos’ leftover from the 70s where groovy beats still rolled.  However, these characters are much like the disco they hang out in – they’re in between two different worlds, stuck awkwardly in a time of transition and unsure of what the future will hold.

Adventureland is not the film you’ll be expecting if you expect a movie like Superbad or any other teenage film that’s come out in the last few years.  These characters and their problems are real, and you are truly included in their struggles and moral misgivings.  This is one of the deepest comedies I’ve seen in awhile, and I completely recommend it.

(out of 4)

**If you read this, please pleeease comment.  Let me know what you think , or at least that you read it.  Am I getting too pretentious with my analysis?  Is there not enough wit in here to make it interesting? I’m not begging you to comment, but I am close..  Don’t make me.

Pre-Emptive Excitement: 2009 Most Anticipated Films

2008 is done, my top films are in the books.  A note on that – I watched Hancock after going to press and found that it should’ve had a spot in my top ten.  I’m hoping that the rumored sequel gets made as the mythology the writers have set up really left me wanting more.

Anyway, 2009 does have its share of long awaited blockbusters, sequels, adaptations and originals (WHAT?!) that whetted my appetite.  I’m not expecting many of these to be on my Best of 2009 list, but dammit I want to see them now.  I’m giving the films that caught my eye the rating that I think they’ll get once I review them.  In somewhat chronological order:

Watchmen

Click poster for link to trailer

I need to see this film.  I need it.  I had heard the announcement about its release a few years back, but was clueless.  It’s some comic book or something, right?  This summer, the first teaser came out.  I was hooked.  I ordered the graphic novel off Amazon, read it in 2 days, and since then my Internet existence has basically been looking for new bits and pieces about Watchmen.  It’s getting to the point that video clips and spoilers are starting to leak out at a faster pace, and I want to go into the theater seeing as little as possible.  I feel like a crackhead in rehab that knows their stash is only a mouseclick away.  Hopefully the lawsuit business is settled before March 6, because I can’t handle this much longer.

Terminator Salvation

Click poster for trailer

I really, really, wanted to hate this film when it was announced.  Arnie wasn’t going to a part of it, they were recasting everyone from Terminator 3 (which was enjoyable, but ultimately forgettable), and McG (yes, Charlie’s Angels McG) was signed as director.  This is just a cheap cashgrab, right?  All signs point to no.  Badass Christian Bale, aka Mr. In Every Film Ever Made, was cast as John Connor.  I went from absolute zero to freezing.  Then, trailers started coming out.  Looked kind of cool.  The war against the machines that had been alluded to for three films has been finally realized.  More trailers started coming, as did concept art and story lines – all looking incredible.  I’m now in disbelief that I am currently very excited for this film.  I’m prepared to have the rug pulled out from under me on May 22, but at least I’ve got my warm fuzzy feelings right now.

Star Trek (trailer on link)

Is it possible that it is cool to like Star Trek again?  I remember being a kid and wanting to go see the new Star Wars film in theaters, but my dad either got confused or was apathetic because he took me to see Star Trek: Insurrection.  Good God.  Cool cats Patrick Stewart and LeVar Burton were unfortunately a part of the cinematic abortion, and that was when I was done with Star Trek.  Until now.  JJ Abrams of Lost (new season in a few weeks woooh) directs another franchise reboot where the crew is young and attractive.  Maybe this belongs more in the films I’m skeptical about but willing to like, but I will most likely see this in theaters after it comes out on May 8.

Funny People

*Not since Happy Gilmore

This just has awesome written all over it.  Judd Apatow directing.  Starring – every person you’ve laughed at in a movie ever since you can remember.  Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, aka Mr. In Every Film Ever Made, Jr., Jonah Hill, and Jason Schwartzmann star in this inside look to the world of comedians.  I predict there will be reviews saying that Judd Apatow has written and directed a film that is full of vulgarity but that also has a softer side that will make it a critical gem.

Where the Wild Things Are

This movie has already earned the WALL-E award for movie that makes you go "Awwww" the most

Spike Jonze adapts my favorite book as a kid.  Yeah, the kid’s name is Max.  Awww.  I had the audiotape to read along with the book and everything.  The screentest from a while back shows a dark, quiet film with a sad characterization for the main Wild Thing – Carol.  Please please please let this film be released this year.  Numerous delays, reshoots and rewrites have left this sitting on the shelf.  This film needs to be released this year.

The Year One

Jack Black and Michael Cera star in this film about the time of Moses.  I’m excited for this film, but am not quite sure it will follow through with the promise of all of the hilarious people involved.  If it does knock one out of the park, it’ll be my surprise film of the year.

Inglorious Basterds

Pretty even with fungus growing on upper lip

Quentin Tarantino finally gets to make his misspelled WWII epic, and it stars Brad Pitt with a funky mustache.  Recently, Tarantino did a good job with Kill Bill and completely missed on the Death Proof portion of Grindhouse. It’ll be interesting to see how he works in 20 minute conversations about the 1990s in this film set during the 1940s, as well as how he sets up a World War II battle.  This film is on the fast track – it started filming this fall and will premiere at Cannes in May.

Trick ‘r Treat (trailer on link)

I’ve only heard good things about this horror film starring Anna Paquin that was supposed to be released in 2006? 7? 8? and has only been seen a few times since.  Delayed over and over again, this will probably (hopefully) be the film that will put the Saw franchise to rest.  We get it, torturing people is gross.  Eli Roth got the message, why can’t Saw?  Plus the fat kid from Bad Santa is in it while still young.  This is can’t miss cinema, people.

Sherlock Holmes

Downey tells Law that the Perfect Pushup is total crap

Robert Downey, Jr. (eeeee) stars as Holmes with Jude Law as Dr. Watson and Rachel McAdams as the female lead in this Guy Richie film.  According to the picture, Bally’s Total Fitness and GNC were in business in Victorian England and Sherlock Holmes had a lifetime subscription.  Elementary, my dear Watson.

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

I’m a big Denzel Washington fan.  The man leaks cool everywhere he goes on screen.  I mean, he got Ethan Hawke high on PCP and then bellowed lines like “I’m surgical with this bitch,” in reference to his shotgun and “King Kong ain’t got shit on me!” in Training Day.  Also starring… John Travolta… uhh, well it has Denzel in it.  Look for him to play someone like his character in the underrated Inside Man, which is perfectly alright with me.

Anddd films I’m skeptical about but will give a chance if someone else does first:

Observe and Report

Mr. In Every Film Ever Made, Jr., stars as a mall cop in this Rated R comedy with Ray Liotta and Anna Faris.  No trailer as of yet, but as long as it looks better than Paul Blart: Mall Cop then I should be okay.

Angels & Demons

The Da Vinci Code was the most boring movie I’d ever seen in theaters.  The book was written for fifth graders, so my mind really didn’t have any trouble visualizing the story.  Imagine my disappointment when the movie was EXACTLY the same.  Protip:  Don’t adapt something if there’s nothing to add.  I haven’t read the prequel, so it should fare better.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

I’m lukewarm on Harry Potter overall.  The whole fandom thing kind of creeped me out and the story never seemed interesting to me.  Everyone I’ve ever talked to says I’m wrong, but this could be the one I finally rent on DVD.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

My Shia crush aside, I liked Transformers.  It actually had some witty writing about the awkwardness of being a teenager.  Sadly, that and the incredible CGI were probably the best parts of the film.  Big stars spouting lame one liners and Shia shouting “Nonononononono!/Gogogogogogo!” didn’t really do it for me.  I’m expecting more of the same, but I’ll probably see this anyway.

Wolfman

If there’s one guy to play the titular character in the Wolfman remake, it’s Benicio Del Toro.  He’s halfway there anyways.  I don’t get why they’re releasing this film in November… after Halloween… but I really don’t know much about this one.  Crossing my fingers though.

Avatar

If you talked to some people on the Internet, they’d have you believe that this new James Cameron flick won every award that has ever existed or ever will.  In it, a paralyzed marine gets another shot at life by transferring his brain or soul or something to an ‘avatar’, in this case a 10 foot tall alien.  Riiight.  And it’s in 3D, which I am really on the fence about at this point.  Annoying, revolutionary, pointless?  I’m not sure yet, but I’m going to find out in December when this film hits.

Agree, disagree, know something I don’t? Leave a comment.

MaxReview’s 2008 Top 10 Films

I’ve done my best as an amateur film reviewer to go out of my way to see as many films as I could that were released this year, which is tough considering when I’m not in Ann Arbor doing the student thing, I’m in Muskegon where many of the end of the year awards films just don’t get released on time.

That said, this list was made without having seen some of the top contenders that seem to be on everyone’s lists.  Either they’re completely full of shit, or I’m missing out.  Either way, I haven’t seen The Wrestler, Milk, Frost/Nixon, Revolutionary Road, The Reader, Doubt, and Gran Torino.  Hmm.. I guess I’m alright with the fact that I didn’t spend 60 bucks and three-quarters of a day watching all of them, but writing them all out does make me feel less cultured than I think I am.  They all look great, but I sadly probably won’t get to see them for awhile.

Anyway, of the films I’ve seen this year and can remember, here’s my Top 10.

1. Wall-E

I’ve waxed poetic about Wall-E before, and my thoughts haven’t changed.  This film is iconic.  Animation is taken to new heights here, and I don’t think we’ll see anything like this for awhile.  At least, until the next Pixar film.

2. Slumdog Millionaire

Danny Boyle comes through again.  His stylistically directed resume includes drug film Trainspotting, zombie flick 28 Days Later, and the dark sci-fi film Sunshine.  Bouncing to yet another genre, Slumdog is set in India, where a young man who grew up on the dirty streets makes it to the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire? and is one question away from the top prize when he is arrested on suspicion of cheating.  As he is interrogated, we learn how he knows the answers – he just lived his life.

Watching, I didn’t know if it really happened.  I just remember thinking that even if it wasn’t true, nothing could take away from the inspiration that this film provides.  I guarantee that when the credits roll, you’ll have a smile on your face.

3. The Dark Knight

Again, I’ve talked about this film alot.  The plot and acting raise the bar for comic book films, and provide yet another blueprint for crime epics that I’m sure will be copied many times in the years to come.  Its unneccesary length aside, this film is what 2008 will be remembered for.

4. Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Underrated and forgotten by most, this is the funniest film of 2008 by far.  There were many top tier comedies to come out this year, including Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Step Brothers, and Role Models, but this surpasses them all.  Hilariously obscene, this film moves into line with Superbad as a film that also has a heart through the jokes.  These are characters you really love.  Not only that, but its quotability is amazing.  “I just went from six to midnight,” is something I’ll be saying for a long time.

5. Iron Man

Robert Downey Jr. is back, and he’s my favorite actor working in Hollywood today.  I’ve tried to see pretty much everything he’s been in the last few years, including pretty small time things like A Scanner Darkly and Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang along with blockbusters like Tropic Thunder and Iron Man.  He makes this film what it is, which is a fun superhero movie with the best kind of character – men want to be him, women want to be with him.  Downey takes his signature sarcasm and makes Tony Stark his own.  Great effects and a great supporting cast in Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Terrance Howard.  I’m looking forward to the sequel with director Jon Favreau on board as well as the future Avengers movie.  Just give me more Downey!

6. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This film is good, but definitely not as great as you might be led to believe.  The cast is superb, as are the age effects.  This film should win the Best Effects Oscar, and rightly so.  However, the story comes off as something artsy and with a grandiose message, but I feel that Brad Pitt’s character isn’t living his life – he’s just experiencing things as they pass him by.  I also don’t like that we don’t get to see the most crucial time in the character’s life – when the old man is trapped in a boy’s body.  By the time we see him, he is a young boy with a mind gripped by dementia.  We are left to imagine how he suffered as a 65 year old man in a 10 year old body.  This shortcomings aside though, this sad film shouldn’t be missed.

7. Let the Right One In

In a year where Twilight was the vampire film on everyone’s lips, Let the Right One In was the vampire film people should’ve been seeing.  In the independent Swedish film, a 12 year old boy who is bullied at school meets and befriends a new girl in his apartment building that is suffering with living as a vampire.  It’s a dark film, but not horror in the literal sense.  There’s tense scenes, but the film delves more into the true classical mythology of vampires set in the modern day.  As much as I disapprove of 12 year old love, the love story is bittersweet.  Seeing these characters change before your eyes is what makes this film what it is.

8. Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Kevin Smith’s newest film is another comedy in which heart is as important as vulgarity to the story.  And trust me, there is enough vulgarity to go around in this film.  As unrealistic as it is to have a guy and girl living together as just friends who decide that in order to make money, they must make pornographic film, and then after making the film realize that they truly love each other, this film is one of Kevin Smith’s best.  Funny characters and witty writing make this entertaining albeit forgotten film worthy of a Top 10 spot.

9. Cloverfield

Following one of the most mysterious ad campaigns of 2007, ‘1-18-08′ or Cloverfield redefines the monster disaster film.  Taking cues from Godzilla in which a huge monster destroys New York, this film featured no A-list (or even C-list) actors.  Instead, the film was shot completely on handheld cameras from the perspective of the characters.  A surprisingly deep story coupled with dark realism and images evoking September 11th, this film was effective in striking a chord in whoever watched.  This film came out nearly a year ago, but it deserves to be remembered as 2008’s most daring film.

10. Eagle Eye

I like Shia Labeouf.  He’s a funny guy, and he’s got a screen presence.  I don’t know how long he’ll be able to work as an actor because I don’t see his appeal once he stops looking like he’s about 20 years old.  However, Eagle Eye is exactly why he’s the hottest name in blockbusters today.  The film is the latest lesson in how government surveillance and computer controlled weapons systems will one day rule us all, and with interesting writing and set pieces is worthy of the tenth spot on my 2008 list.

Worst Film of 2008 – The Happening

My brother wanted to see this, and being a good big brother I obliged.  I figured that yeah, M. Night Shyamalan had had some misses as of late, but The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs were pretty cool.  Plus, it was rated R.  This has to be great.  No.  No no no no.  I think this is the worst movie I’ve ever gone to a theater to see.  Writing, acting, plot – all horrendous.  I couldn’t possibly write everything about this film that I hated.  It all sort of just runs together and my mind can only do what Peter Griffin does when Buzz Killington comes around.  Ahhhhh.

Well, after writing that out I definitely feel a lot worse for having not seen all of the movies I missed.  Don’t get me wrong – these movies all deserve to be seen and remembered – but I definitely don’t think Eagle Eye would hold up against any of the movies I listed.  Maybe if someone hired me to write reviews, I could dedicate more time to it.  Ah well..

Here’s to 2009.  Happy New Year.

Wall-E: The Best Picture Push

No witty caption here. Not this time. Wall-E deserves an Oscar.

I just saw Wall-E for the second time since it was in theaters, and reminded of its genius I began writing this article.  I remember seeing the trailer for Wall-E what must have been close to a year ago, and knowing that something special was coming.  There were no spoken words – just electronic noises.  However, the design of both the robot (those eyes, those hands!) and his sounds conveyed more heart than anything I had recently seen.

I saw the movie the first day it came out, and was not disappointed.  Pixar has consistently released movies that made you feel good ever since 1995’s Toy Story.  Since 2000, though, Pixar has really stepped it up.  I feel like Monsters Inc. and The Incredibles were underrated, Finding Nemo got its due, and Ratatouille was overrated – fun but easily forgotten.  However, Wall-E transcends them all.

The Academy Awards are generally known as lifetime achievement awards.  Winning an award doesn’t generally mean you win for that year’s nomination, but collectively for a long stretch of work that didn’t get its due from the Academy.  Look to Martin Scorsese and Joel and Ethan Coen, who both recently won their first Best Director awards after an incredible string of films.  This year, Heath Ledger will win his first and last Oscar for his work in The Dark Knight.  He probably should’ve won before, but he’ll finally get his due.  In this spirit, Pixar deserves an Academy Award not only for Wall-E, but in recognition for all of its marvelous work over the years.

Speaking of The Dark Knight, a lot of buzz has surrounded it regarding the Best Picture.  I’ve seen the film at least four times (that’s 10+ hours), and each time I grew less and less enthusiastic about its Best Picture chances.  In my review, I mentioned that the film (which I gave 4 out of 4 stars) seemed a little too long and disconnected but that it didn’t affect the film.  After repeat viewings, I have to disagree with myself.  The finale with Harvey Dent seems tacked on after the Joker storyline is brought to a close, and lame one-liners from henchman and policeman lessen a tense mood with half-assed attempts at comedy.  That being said, I still love the film, but against Wall-E it does not deserve the Best Picture.

Wall-E is not just a children’s film.  Sure, they’ll enjoy the slapstick and the funny fat people on the Axiom, but adults will see these things and know that this is a dystopian cautionary tale.  They’ll see a not-so-distant future where Earth is covered in trash and smog in which a huge Wal-Mart like corporation controls everything and morbidly obese humans are encouraged to simply relax and buy more.  The love story is also amazing.  Wall-E’s sigh, Eve’s giggle – these are the only things you need to feel the chemistry, the spark between them.

I know I haven’t seen some of the other contenders this year, but I would be very surprised if anything made me feel the way Wall-E did.  With that, I give the film my highest recommendation to anyone, including the Academy.  Only one other animated film has been nominated for Best Picture (Beauty and the Beast in 1991), and since then a Best Animated Feature category was added, making it even harder for animation to break through to Best Picture.  However, Disney needs to make its hardest push in the final months.  WALL-E needs to win Best Picture.

Wall-E: (out of 4)

Sex Drive Review

This weekend there were a few movies that came out that I had been looking forward to, including W. and Sex Drive (sorry Max Payne).  I only had time to go on one date, so l flipped a coin and brought her along to Sex Drive (you’re welcome, N).  I think it was a pretty good choice, even though I hopefully find time to see Josh Brolin do his thing before Quantum of Solace drops.

Yes, this is funny.

I can’t say I was expecting too much, but the trailer did have me feeling at least decent regarding my odds at having a good time, with its catchy soundtrack including Time to Pretend by MGMT, sexy Helvetica typeface, and Clark Duke (who was amazing in Clark and Michael).

As I watched, I was practically waiting for all of the cliched teen sex roadtrip comedy cliches.  These are things like losing virginity to a dream girl (check), getting arrested (check), car breaking down (check), meeting weird people along the way (check), a lot of nudity or gross out jokes (check and check), and the ending where everything ends up great, considering how bad things were (check).

However, the last thing I would call this movie is derivative.  It has all of the familiar components, but they come together in a way that left me laughing more than any comedy I’ve seen in awhile, including Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist.

The story – a loserish guy named Ian meets a girl on the Internet, and he decides he will finally lose his virginity to her.  Tagging along are his charming buddy (Duke) and his cute best friend (Amanda Crew) that he is in love with even though she likes Duke.  Love triangle on a road trip: classic.  They borrow Ian’s jock brother’s (played incredibly over the top by James Marsden) car, and set out.

I’d hate to ruin all of the jokes, but of note was Seth Green’s sarcastic Amish character.  From what I’ve seen of him, it basically is Green playing himself if he had a beard and drove a horse and carriage.

He gets the biggest laughs, along with the random and ridiculously awkward situations the movie is brimming with.  Going back to Marsden, though, here he’s completely unhinged.  He’s an ultra-macho, homophobic guy that loves his car more than anything else.  Hilarity ensues.

This movie doesn’t have the heart or quotability of something like Superbad, and things happen pretty much exactly as you would expect regardless of the implausibility, but looking past that, this is a solid teen comedy.  I’m not sure if someone outside of that demographic will be able to appreciate it, but if you’re looking to burn 2 hours and feel good coming out of the theater, you really can’t go wrong.

out of 4

Role Models Advance Review!

I just got back from a test screening of ‘Role Models’ in Ann Arbor starring Paul Rudd, Seann William Scott, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse in his first role after McLovin.  He was at the screening, and was actually a really funny guy when answering the weird and random post-screening questions that moist college aged girls had for him.

Anyway, the film is about two guys, Rudd and Scott, who work for an energy drink company going from school to school doing anti-drug assemblies.  Rudd is grumpy about everything, and realizes his life is in a rut.  He proposes to his girlfriend (Elizabeth Banks) on a whim, and when she turns him down, he goes on a crazy energy drink fueled rampage.  When all is said and done, Rudd and Scott face jailtime or volunteering with a Big Brothers-Big Sisters type group headed by the hilarious Jane Lynch (boss from 40 Year Old Virgin).  She was one of the most memorable characters in the movie, spouting simply ridiculous lines from writers Rudd, Ken Marino, and David Wain, who also directed.

Rudd has to take care of Plasse’s character, an awkward LARPer (live action role playing for the uninformed) whose parents want nothing to do with him.  Scott is stuck with Bobb’e J. Thompson, a vulgar black kid who keeps scaring off his Big Brothers (props to the kid in what I’m guessing is his first role).  Through the movie we see the basic ‘disdain growing into caring between mismatched kid and grownup’ stories.  I thought the plot was pretty predictable, but there were a ton of laughs.

I'm not getting paid enough.

A lot of the jokes (and a lot of the story) come from an interesting dissection of LARPing.  I don’t know anything about it, but the movie shows them as huge nerds who act malicious towards other ‘countries’, but deep down all love each other.  The writing is top notch, and what you would come to expect from Wain and Rudd paired together.  One LARPer stuck out in my mind as especially funny – Joe Lo Truglio, the guy who hits Jonah Hill with his car in Superbad.  The man gets into any role he’s playing, and you really believe that he speaks in Middle English all the time.

Another thing to note was the LARP fight choreography.  Mintz-Plasse said afterwards that the guy who choreographed the Bourne films helped train the actors for this film.  It showed, and the battles never came off as cheesy or fake, which is awesome considering that we were watching grown men play with foam swords.

Mintz-Plasse carried the movie in my opinion.  You honestly feel bad for the kid at points (who looks like he’s about 13 in this movie), and his transformation, while expected, is fun to watch.

The one downside was that Scott and Rudd do nothing new as actors with the characters.  Scott plays himself, or Stifler, the horny and over-drinking buddy.  Rudd plays the sarcastic, unhappy guy we’re supposed to feel sorry for.  Keep in mind though – I loved this character in Knocked Up.  Here though, neither actor was especially funny, but the writing did make watching them do their thing worth it.

I don’t think this movie will review awesomely with the critics.  The plot is definitely nothing new, and the main actors don’t do anything special.  However, there are a lot of laughs along the way, and the little roles that don’t have top billing are the ones you should see this movie for.

out of 4

The Mist

I’ve never actually been kicked in the balls, but in my estimation, last night was the closest I’ll ever get to receiving such an incredible, gut busting shock.

I’m talking of course about The Mist, Frank Darabont’s latest Stephen King adaptation following The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, but his first such foray into King’s expansive horror catalog.  In it, a small Maine town is covered in a mist after a storm, and strange, bloodthirsty creatures come with it.

I don’t like spoiling endings in reviews, but this film leaves such a surprising taste on the

I'm as confused as them about the ending.

pallette when the credits begin rolling, one can’t help but talk about it.  But I’ll leave that for later.

Sadly, the film seems to reduce characters down to caricatures of stereotypes.  Thomas Jane (The Punisher) stars as concerned, heroic dad.  Marcia Gay Harden (who should’ve been nominated for an Oscar) stars as religious nutjob.  Andre Braugher stars as the skeptical, grumpy lawyer. There’s also a red-eyed, concerned woman, a budding teenage romance, an old woman that can hold her own, and a closed-minded redneck.  You get the idea.  Also, there’s really no development.  I guess that’s fine, but I feel like more could’ve been done with the characters, instead of simply throwing them into situations that they have to deal with.

The part of the film I did like was the sense of hopelessness that sets in for the viewer once the mob mentality begins to take hold over the character trapped in a supermarket.  It hits close to home in a post 9/11 world where the ‘threat’ of terrorist attacks seems to be eminent, seeing that once civilization breaks down, people tear each other apart.

The film works as a horror, but not enough for me to call it scary by any stretch.  If you could call this a horror, it is pure and simple a creature feature, with creepy crawlies thrown in to give you chills.  If bugs don’t bother you, you’ll likely be laughing at some of the greusome deaths rather than covering your eyes.

However, the part of the film that will leave you really reeling is the ending.  From here on out there is a

***SPOILER WARNING***

In it, Jane is left driving away from the town with his son, the red-eyed woman, the old lady, and an older man.  They drive until they run out of gas trying to escape the mist.  If they get out of the car, the monsters will eat them.  Oh, you know where this is going. Jane has a gun with four bullets.  Five people.  And yep, he kills them.  Left alone after sparing the others, he goes outside to accept his fate as something’s dinner.  You hear a roar.  And.. a tank with soldiers and flamethrowers drives out of the mist as it clears.

What is the point? Why? Why?? Is Darabont saying that courage goes unrewarded? Are heroes always scorned? Is there a political message? Is the defeatist liberal attitude being mocked here? I have no idea.  Perhaps Darabont just wanted to punch us in the gut, and throw the ending in for shock value.

Whatever the reason, I know I’ll be thinking about this film for awhile, it’s shortcomings aside.

MaxReview: out of 4

Austin Powers 4 Underway.. Yeah Baby?

I remember when the Austin Powers movies started playing on TV, my little brothers inevitably watched them (our TV was not blessed with an all-holy V-chip). Later, they asked my mom what, “Do I make you horny?” meant. The movies were, and still are pretty damn funny. By Goldmember, though, you could tell that the jokes were getting a little too played out, and that Mike Myers had wrung the last bits of comedy out of the franchise.

By the end, characters would break the fourth wall to let the viewer know that even they knew there were no new jokes, just rehashes that were only funny because they had been funny before, not because they were innovative. That inevitable conclusion, as well as the fact that literally a negative amount of people liked Myers’ latest, Love Guru, leaves me confused as to why Austin Powers 4 is going forward.

I don’t think anyone has been begging for another scenario like “That bomb looks like a giant…” [cut to view of Tom Brady making a cameo while holding a ball bag] “Ballsack! I’ve got the ballsack for the game!” I could be wrong though. Definitely…

And speaking of Brady, his girlfriend Gisele Bundchen is rumored to be the next Powers girl. I’m very skeptical about the whole thing, but I won’t count Mike Myers out until he forces me to.

MaxReview: / 4